Buckaroo Banzai

Dear Netflix, It's up to you to bring back Buckaroo Banzai.

Dear Netflix,

I've been with you since almost the beginning, when the idea of streaming video through slapdash local internet connections was an absurd dream, and your red envelopes were the only interesting thing anyone got in the mail. So I'm going to ask you a favor, but in the process I'm going hand you your next mega-hit.

The time has come to bring back Buckaroo Banzai.

I'm not asking for a faithful update or fan-service paste-up. Buckaroo Banzai is just a framework, just as the old Battlestar Galactica served as a thematic inspiration for the reboot. Some of the old stuff needs to go. Ditch the nerd-bro schtick (but keep Clancy Brown). Buckaroo is now a physician and climatologist from Saskatchewan. She will of course be portrayed by Tatiana Maslany. I do not care how much money you have to pay her. Tatiana Maslany is Buckaroo Banzai. 

Buckaroo's second in command is a geneticist from a Micronesian nation, whose pessimistic world view is informed by the fact that her homeland will soon be under water thanks to the overclocked engines of civilization (Keisha Castle-Hughes). They lead an international entourage of hard-rocking scientists, united by the power of music and open-minded inquiry. An Algerian botanist (Rami Malek) plays the sax and maintains a stormy truce with a French physicist and DJ (Chiwetel Ejiofor). An American psychologist (Clancy Brown) plays the drums and is an expert profiler who annoys the group with his claim to know them better than they know themselves. And Jason Momoa plays a geologist and outdoor survival expert, prone to walk off into the wilderness with his guitar when he feels too many people are telling him what to do. World-weary chemist Viola Davis plays the keyboard. Baaba Maal writes the score. 

Do you want to send the old-school nerds into a frenzy? Hire Peter Weller, the original Buckaroo Banzai, as the Big Bad. No, seriously, don't do that. I was just testing you to see if you were keeping your eyes on the ball. I love Peter Weller, but this isn't about 80's nostalgia. This is about a bunch of people who must overcome meaningful differences with a shared commitment to truth. Together they form a ragtag band that unites to save the world, because someone's got to do it, and also plays some sweet tunes, because someone's got to do that, too.

This is your destiny, Netflix. Don't turn aside from it. Wherever it takes you, well... there you are.